NFL playoffs rootability guide

College football season is over, so due to the lack of better option I'll have to settle with the NFL. So I decided to look at the menu for this weekend and make my picks, not in terms of who I think would win, but who deserves to win. Scientifically. Employing the same technology North Korea uses to assure their elections are fair.

(Just a parenthesis here: rooting for the Eagles this season was awful. Started strong, began to suck slowly, got out of the playoff race, got itself back on the playoff race, did all the right things in the end of the season. I want to hate them for having a superstar lineup, but I can't because their season was the exact opposite of the Red Sox season this year. I was hating them mid-season, loved the effort early and in the end. Blergh.).

New Orleans (-3.5) @ San Francisco: This is a very hard pick. The cities are even in the fun level, despite having very different styles. Both coaches did the same level of grit this season, with the Harbaugh x Schwartz brawl or Sean Payton's fractured tibia and torn MCL after being tackled on the sidelines. But the quarterback situation makes me lean towards the 49ers. No, I'm not picking Smith is better than Drew Brees. It's just that all I know was from playing Joe Montana's Sega Genesis game.
Edge: San Francisco 49ers.

Denver (+13.5) @ Patriots: The Broncos are heavy underdogs here. And I love how all football analysts get mad with the whole Tim Tebow thing. And then there's the whole Brady hype here in Boston. So Broncos would be the easy pick. But last weekend during I saw the Michigan x Florida during a flight back from Texas and... I was rooting against Tebow. And it felt good, real good. And you know who was in that Michigan team? Zoltan Mesko. It's the Space Emperor going against God. I'm sorry, God, I have to remain loyal to my Emperor.
Edge: New England Patriots.

Houston (+7.5) @ Baltimore: I hate Joe Flacco and I hate because of Fantasy Football. I have no feelings towards the Texans. Plus, they're underdogs with a nice narrative this season. Easy pick.
Edge: Houston Texans.

NY Giants (+8.5) @ Green Bay: I hate the Giants (and all NY/New Jersey teams). And Green Bay last year was a feel good story. This year, they more of a "ESPN loves this story" and the Rodgers thing is making me tired. He's starting to annoy me more than the Favre. And I honestly thing that the Giants team offense depends more on Eli Manning's luck then on Rodgers' skills. But then, BJ Raji does: Look at this man's face.
Edge: Green Bay Packers